Last Day of Debrief

Today is the last day of my debrief. In some odd way it feels almost reminiscent of high school graduation. As if today this glorious "this is the beginning of the rest of your life..." day and people will now inquire "Soooo, what are your plans?". Perhaps it's good for me to remember that I can now smile when I think of the pressure I put on myself around high school graduation. One day this time of my life will carry the same light humor.

These last two weeks have been rough, but God has walked by me every step. We had group lectures in the morning followed by private counseling in the afternoons. I came to the conference pretty skeptical and feeling like a failure. The flashbacks, anxiety, crazy sleep patterns, and inability to concentrate made me almost wonder if I was losing my mind. It was hard to talk through specific memories and it often stirred up more. However, in the end God clearly showed me how He had been with me during each event.

This is only the first step. I've seen God heal many of the memories and flashbacks, but with post-traumatic stress disorder inevitably it may take some time for my brain to process it all. I now have strategies for stress and anxiety that will be helpful to me so I don't get that far down in the pit again before I sound an alarm. I believe I’m also better prepared to communicate in a team setting. Many of teaching incorporated insights into communication and how each person can look at a situation in a different light.

Just to clarify, I am quite certain I will not return to the mission with whom I served in Asia. Though I never expected to go to Asia, if God opened a different door there I would willingly go back. (The local people will always have a special place in my heart) This week I'll be talking to some missions agencies out here and looking at options for service. I'll also be following up on some school applications and trying to decide where to go next (whether to invest some more time in the States or really pursue going overseas this year) I won’t be back to my parents place until the end of the month. (It's so wild to be far enough east to see signs on the highway for New York City.)

A host of midwife friends are getting hitched...at least I should be able to attend one bridal shower this week...(let me go practice my shower "oooing" and "awwwing") I filled one of my new friends in on the goings on at showers to which he said "I'm GLAD I'm a guy".